Dear Mormon Church:

Thank you so much for calling my brother in law today to find out where I was living. I realize that you're deeply concerned for my spiritual well-being, but I would like to reassure you that my complete lack of contact with your organization for the last dozen years or more is completely voluntary. And my spiritual well being is exactly where I want it to be: safely out of your hands.

I am intimately familiar with what you have to offer, and can assure you wholeheartedly that aside from the idea that one should be "Christlike" and charitable, there is nothing in your particular brand of bullshit that I buy. Please don't be offended by this: I don't buy into any of the other brands of bullshit either (at least, not the religious ones). I think that trying to be kind and charitable is a no brainer, and everything else that goes along with religion is something I am intentionally avoiding. And I do not think that a decision I made when i was eight years old, and incapable of disagreeing with my parents on a substantive or theological level should leave me open to being hounded by you or any other religion for the remainder of my existence.

So, as much as I adore almost all mormons on an individual level, please take this message as a pleasant request to fuck off on an organizational level.

Love,
Illy

PS If at some point in the future I suffer a traumatic head injury, or something else equally personality-altering that would lead me to be interested in you, or any other religion--I'll call you.

. . .how can you justify belief in a god that's left you behind? You've simply filled the gap between the upper and lower class, and your faith merely keeps you in line. An amalgamation of Jewish scripture and Christian thought. What will that get you? Not a fuck of a lot. Take a look at your promised land. Your deed is that gun in your hand. Mt. Zion's a minefield. The West Bank. The Gaza Strip. Soon to be parking lots for American tourists and fascist cops. Fuck zionism. Fuck militarism. Fuck americanism. Fuck nationalism. Fuck religion. (Propagandhi, "Haillie Sallasse, Up Your Ass")